i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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