dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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