What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
