he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
