Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
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The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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