Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
