everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
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he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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