Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
