if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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