i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I just got carded by a ten year old.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize