you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Is Oprah even human
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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