I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize