I just threw up on my dentist
It's just like the Real World with babies
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
