love makes seman taste better
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
If I die, sorry about rent.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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