giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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