id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I didn't notice because vodka
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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