She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize