It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
