dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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