he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I woke up under a house in Key West
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
