I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Randomize
