if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
dude. I can hear the air.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
