i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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