Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
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I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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