You can't motorboat a personality
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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