So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
