I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
