apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
