Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
