i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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