well I can't set my house on fire every night
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
