My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
