How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
