and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
