Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
