Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
