do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
