okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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