This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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