So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
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I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
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Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
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