drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I am never drinking with the goths again.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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