If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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