I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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