Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
