Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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