No, drunk sperm still make babies.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
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Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
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There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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