Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Randomize
