just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
