Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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