i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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