and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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