evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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