Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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