i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
