used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
bring money and cleavage
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
