why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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