Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
now i know why i became what i already was.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
this hospital has no fireball
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
