are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
