Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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