I showed him my bush... on skype.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
