I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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