Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
